Monday, May 30, 2005

The Worst Invention Ever

Mankind has the uncanny ability to devise implements of evil...history has proven this time and again...the rack, thumb screws, even the handgun; each of these, along with so many other so-called 'advancements,' have proven how dark the mind and soul of man can be...these types of inventions were not developed with good in mind, but instead with negative intentions...but today, I came face to face with what could be mankind's greatest black eye, the one invention that rises in its evilness above all was (insert ominous music) the plastic encasing that my new lawnmower blade came in...are you familiar with the kind of plastic wrapping I am referring to?...I don't mean basic cellophane that you simply crumple up and put in the trash...this stuff is far more sinister...just to open the package, you need a blowtorch or small explosives...OK, so that was an exaggeration, but you do need a fairly stout pair of scissors or a sharp knife, which is dangerous in and of itself...then, if you are able to get into it, to peel it back to remove the contents is nearly impossible due to its lack of ranks up there with steel in that category...then, as you are pulling out the contents, be very careful, as the freshly cut edges are razor-sharp...I discovered this as the casing for the lawnmower blade sliced my finger open...not bad enough to require stitches, but bad enough to send a trail of blood running down my finger...if I had to remove one invention from the history of mankind, it would be this plastic encasing...

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