TOPIC: I will be the next Head Coach of The Cleveland Browns...

Want evidence? Read the application letter I just submitted below...

November 30, 2004
RE: Head Coaching Position

John Collins
c/o The Cleveland Browns
Training Facility and Administrative Complex
76 Lou Groza Blvd.
Berea, Ohio 44017

Dear John Collins,
It has come to my attention, through my good friend Chris Mortensen (I consider him a good friend as I listen to him regularly on ESPN Radio), that the position of Head Coach of The Cleveland Browns has recently become vacant. It is my deep desire to throw my hat into the ring of possible candidates to fill this opening.

I feel strongly that I have what it takes to be a head coach in today’s NFL. Most people that know me would say that I am sorely under qualified for this position. They base this solely on the fact that I have no professional, college, or high school coaching experience. In addition, I have no experience playing organized football (unless you count soccer, which I played for several years in high school). However, I have one year’s coaching experience at the YMCA Pee-Wee level. And I have been following football – and The Cleveland Browns – very closely for many years and feel that I have a keen mind for the game. When Brian Sipe threw the infamous “Red Right 88” interception against the Raiders in 1980, I knew even before he threw it that he should throw the ball into Lake Erie. When John Elway led “The Drive,” and two seasons ago when the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Browns in the playoffs, I screamed at the TV to not use the prevent defense, which the Browns employed and ultimately lost. And numerous times, I have made comments and observations about various games, to which friends and families have replied, “Wow! You should be coaching this team.” These are just a few of the evidences of my football mind. As a result, I am now looking for my opportunity to make a difference for the Browns.

Thank you for considering me for this opening. I would love to be the next Head Coach of The Cleveland Browns, and I feel that we would be a great match! Please contact me for my resume, if you have any questions, or to set up an interview. Thank you again…

Thank you,

Michael C. Fitzpatrick
MCF/mcf

TOPIC: Thanksgiving

With only a few minutes before I head home for the long Thanksgiving holiday (my local home, not Ohio), there isn't much time to compile a good list of things to be thankful for...but I'll come up with what I can:

-God, and the fact that I can have a relationship with Him...
-My lovely and patient wife Marcy...
-La Croix Church, it's leadership, and the great people I get to work with...
-the awesome youth of La Croix...
-Hostess Ho-Hos...
-all Cleveland sports teams (even though they often make me mad)...
-all the good friends in my life, especially Joe and Trey...
-my fantastic family...
-my puppy (who's quickly turning into a dog) Attie...
-modern conveniences: TV, telephones, computers, microwave, coffee maker, electricity, stereos and CDs, DVDs, etc....
-Adidas sandals...
-my car...
-Evil Dead 2...
-Arrested Development...
-living in the USA...
-reading materials...
-the color orange...
-David Wilcox music...
-Graeter's Ice Cream...
-Quizno's...
-Homestar Runner...
-kids...
-when someone says, "duty" (it makes me giggle because it sounds like "doody")...

This is by far NOT an exhaustive list, but I want to go home now...happy Thanksgiving to you and yours...

TOPIC: New CD in the player...

Currently listening to tobyMac's new CD...borrowed it from a co-worker...most excellent...it is clear that this guy was the driving force and the creative element behind DC Talk...Tait is OK, and Kevin Max went nowhere fast...toby keeps pushing the envelope and coming out with great music...I'll be wearing out this CD, fo sho (that was me trying to sound cool)...

TOPIC: Thank goodness it's over...

The ballots have been cast, and the results are final...I watched as Kerry conceded the election today, and then a short while later, Bush gave his victory speech...I am not only glad because Bush won (yeah, that's who I voted for - it's out there now)...but I'm even more glad that the whole election process is over...these Presidential election campaigns, as well as all the other local and state election campaigns, were U-G-L-Y...namecalling, accusations, twisting truths, and just downright meanness got me all fed up with the election process...not to mention the fact that there will be no political commercials for a while...now we can get back to important commercials, for things like Cialis, Pepto-Bismol, and Kotex...OK, maybe political ads aren't all that bad...I have this weird new fantasy...I want to run for political office and simply be me - t-shirts, jeans, and all - and be really nice..."Hi, I'm Fitz, and I approve this message. If you elect me President, here are the things I will try to accomplish: _________________. Now my opponent, Joe Blow, is saying some negative things about me. That's OK. He's allowed to. That's what makes this country great. Joe is actually a pretty good guy. I don't agree with everything he says, but he has strong convictions, is a good husband, and a great dad..."...anyway, you get the picture...I might actually gain a few votes from people who like nice guys...but you know what they say about nice guys...