Tuesday, January 10, 2006


The Misery of a Cleveland Fan

ESPN.com has come out with their misery index, measuring how much misery a football team has made their fans endure. Not surprisingly, Cleveland finished as being the team with the highest misery index, using the categories of Historic Despair, Recent Despair, Historic Pain, Recent Pain, Intangible Misery, and Misery Outlook. Here is what Jim Caple had to say:

"1. Cleveland Browns

Sure, Cleveland once was an NFL powerhouse, winning three championships in the days before Roman numerals. But that was so long ago that America's heartland actually still manufactured things.

The decades haven't been kind to Cleveland since Jim Brown retired to the set of the "Dirty Dozen" to pursue his "acting career." The Browns have had more losing seasons than winning seasons in the past three decades. They've lost five games that could have sent them to the Super Bowl, losing three of them in a span of four years. They watched John Elway march the Broncos 98 yards for a touchdown in the final minutes of the AFC championship game on Jan. 11, 1987. They watched Ernest Byner fumble at the 3-yard line. But just when it seemed it could get no worse, owner/Satan spawn Art Modell stole the team and took it to Baltimore -- where the Ravens won a Super Bowl. Sure, Cleveland got a replacement team. But it stinks. It was like having someone take your Jim Brown throwback jersey and giving you a Jeff Garcia giveaway T-shirt in return.

Lousy teams, painful losses, a hijacked team. Sheesh. The only thing missing from the Browns' misery is Kathy Bates' crushing their ankles with a sledgehammer."

To see how your team fared, visit ESPN.com...

3 comments:

Fitz said...

Oooh, and I just discovered that Cleveland was also ranked #2 on the Major League Baseball misery index. I'm not feeling so good. I think I will go lie down...

Broter Rob said...

Why do you think I move so much? I lived in New England, so I can root for the Pats and BoSox. And of course the Bucs won the Super Bowl the same year the Buckeyes won the National Championship. Call me fair weather fan . . . I don't care . . . today it was 70 degrees and sunny. I like fair weather. That's why I am in Florida and you live in Missery, oops Missouri.

stephan said...

bite me, rob.